You probably have someone in your life that complains about everything and sometimes, it can get really annoying and overwhelming. These people always promote negativity and it is hard to remain optimistic when you are around them, at least if you don’t know how to approach them.
Here are 7 tips that if followed correctly, will definitely help you. Try to read them carefully in order to understand them and include them in your everyday life.
1. An eyebrow flash
It is important to remain normal and not to make faces while the complainer is talking. For instance, stay away from the “eye-roll” move. It can lead to an even more negative conversation that will put you in the spotlight.
Also, it will remove the remaining positivity that you and this person share, which will make things worse. Instead, you can try another quite famous move that involves your eyelash.
Make an eyelash flash by raising and lowering one of your eyelashes. This will show him that you are open for the conversation, which will keep you calm and relaxed.
2. “What else?”
Of course, you have had enough of his complains and you probably don’t want to hear another one, but if you be brave and ask for more you will get out of the routine of nodding with your head.
He will have to move on to a different subject, which means that the conversation will finish faster.
Additionally, when you ask for more, there is a small chance that the complainer will get nervous and comfortable. He will probably finish the conversation faster than usually.
One thing that you need to understand about complainers is that they almost never get empathy, mainly because everyone around them is getting annoyed easily.
Also, they have a lot on their chest, and they need to have some form of relief. By giving them validation or empathy, you will gain control in any given situation and conversation from that moment.
You will be able to start the conversation and to finish it whenever you like without making the other person sad or offended.
A good strategy is to give the complainer a compliment in order to get his mind off of the main subject in his head. This will make feel good, at least for a second, which will probably save you from listening to his complaints.
For example, if they complain about work, tell them that they are really hard working for staying up so late or for committing to it so much.
Always tell them that they impress you with the number of difficulties that they have to cope with every day, even if you don’t mean it, just say it. It will save you from any annoyance in the future.
5. Speak about it
If you have tried everything and the complainer still goes on and on, you probably need to say something. Don’t be harsh and say that he is negative all the time and how much it bothers you.
Instead, say that it bothers you that they criticize almost everything without thinking on the positive side. After hearing this, the complainer will probably leave you alone for a while. They will find another person to bother, which will help you significantly.
6. Reframe the issue
You can always try giving a good reason for him to stop complaining, at least on one matter.
For example, when this person complains about how hard it is at work, say that every person needs to put up with it, or if he complains about a traffic jam, explain to him that people need to get somewhere.
Simply explain that there is a reason behind everything, maybe, just maybe, he will understand and stop complaining for a while.
7. Sometimes don’t give advice
Most of the complainers we know can’t be really happy. They have complaints in their head and they won’t change no matter what happens. They have a different perception of negativity and tragedy, which can be pretty annoying.
They have this identity and no matter what you do, they won’t change. This means that if you are constantly trying to fix their problems or giving them advice, that you will have them stuck onto you.
They will start to depend on you and your opinions, which will turn into a friendship. A friendship that you probably won’t like, mainly because it will make you negative too.
This means that sometimes, depending on the issue that they are complaining about, you need to simply listen and say that you don’t know what to say. But not giving them advice, you will be the wrong person to talk to and they will avoid complaining to you.
All in all, it all rotates around your position on this matter. It is important to start on the right track and maintain it. Most importantly, you need to stay optimistic for yourself.
Don’t pay too much attention to the complainer and focus on your opinions on those events. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Remember these 7 tips and hopefully, they will help you.